Penguins are the 2005-06 NHL Dysfunctional Team of the Year

Considering he's barely a month into his job, it's a little early for a five-alarm meltdown. But Pittsburgh coach Michel Therrien opened fire on his team following the Penguins' 3-1 loss to Edmonton on Tuesday:

"I'm not impressed. It's a pathetic performance. Half the team doesn't care. These guys would see if we take 50 percent of their salaries because they only play 50 percent of the time. That defensive squad, I really am starting to believe their goal is to be the worst in the league."

"And they're doing the best job to be the worst defensive squad in the league. They turn the puck over, they have no vision, they're soft. They pretend to care, but I know they don't care."

So how did the players respond to this motivational gambit from their glorious leader? By losing 6-1 to Columbus 24 hours later. They didn't look so good in the fights, either.

What now, coach?

Postscript: Dysfunctional runners-up: