Media Left Aghast by Sidney Crosby's "Ordinary" Game

Sidney Crosby made his first visit to Canada as an NHL player on Thursday. He did not score a dozen goals, did not preside over the game's rebirth, and failed to change water into wine.

Crosby recorded zero points and a minus-2 rating as Pittsburgh lost 4-1 to Ottawa. The Ottawa Sun called him "ordinary," adding ominously that "he looked like an 18-year-old still trying to find his way with the start of the regular season less than a week away." The Toronto Globe and Mail says he "looked pretty much like any other player on the ice."

Both papers noted that the Senators' young star, Jason Spezza, stole the show. Spezza has been unstoppable in the preseason, leading the team with 13 points.

None of this will surprise anyone who knows a hockey stick from a swizzle stick. Spezza and Crosby were both identified as exceptional hockey players before they hit puberty. That is where the comparison ends. Spezza is 22 years old and has spent the last three years growing into a first-line center. That he is poised for a huge, breakout season is no secret to anyone. Crosby "looks like an 18-year-old" because that's what he is. The Ottawa game was his fourth ever against grown men.

But, having spent several years constructing Crosby as Superboy, columnists must now pretend its news when he fails to leap buildings in a single bound.

One can only imagine the stories that might appear as the season wears on:

Sources Say Crosby May Be Human, Fallible ---
Reports of Sidney Crosby's mortality have some pundits suggesting he may be a regular human being, with two arms and two legs like everyone else.
Rumors emerged several weeks ago, after the Pittsburgh rookie visited a local pharmacy for dental floss. "He was this teenage kid," the clerk told a reporter. "Kind of lanky, like an athlete or something. Bought the unwaxed stuff."
Sports reporters dismissed the story, noting that the clerk did not identify himself as a hockey fan. But an investigative report has uncovered further evidence...